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Is It Possible to Be ‘Too Wet’? Is This Really a Turn-Off?

Apr 25, 2024

Pigs can they fly? Can mules have children? Is it possible to extract blood from a stone?

"Can a vagina get too moist during sex?" is another ridiculous question that should be added to the list of Idioms of Improbability.

So you can't become 'too wet' when having sex?


"Being 'very wet' during sex for a vagina owner isn't a medical diagnostic," says Dr. Lyndsey Harper, OB-GYN, creator and CEO of Rosy, a sexual health platform.

On the contrary, she claims that vaginal dampness is critical for joyful, nonpainful play.

In nonsexual contexts, the vagina can generate too much fluid (i.e., vaginal discharge), but we'll come to that later.

Is moisture important?

Is moisture important?

"Vaginal wetness is essential for delightful, penetrating sexual interactions," explains Caitlin V., MPH, clinical sexologist for Royal, a vegan condom and lubricant brand.

"It gives lubrication for body parts to brush against one other in a delightful manner," Caitlin V. says.

She claims that rubbing without moisture can irritate and even cause microtears in the sensitive vaginal tissues, increasing the risk of infection.

That's why, according to Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy who specialises in sexual dysfunction and incontinence and author of "Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve," "you can never have too much lubricant on board, whether it's store-bought or body-made."

What factors influence how wet you become? 

So! Several! Things!

Such as:

  • hydration status
  • alcohol or narcotics present in the body
  • amount of physical activity
  • medicines on prescription
  • menstrual cycle stage
  • whether you've entered menopause or not
  • degrees of stress

"A person's experience with dampness varies drastically over the day, month, and life," Caitlin V. explains.

Why would someone be put off by a lot of moisture?

Young woman with flower on color background. Gynecology concept

To put it bluntly, there is no reason for someone to be put off by vaginal dampness.

If someone is put off by a certain level of moisture, it's because they don't understand how the body operates. In other words, it originates from an illiterate source.

This is not a sign of your partner's personal flaws. It reflects their lack of sufficient sex education as children.

What should you do if your partner brings it up?

What should you do if your partner brings it up?

First and foremost, I apologise for your situation! Being in a relationship with someone who makes you feel horrible about your body stinks... a lot.

And, to be honest, that's cause enough to fire them.

You could say:

  • "You may not understand how vaginal moisture works, but I have a personal rule that I will not date somebody who makes me feel awful about myself."
  • "I don't like the derogatory term you used to describe a natural physical reaction. I'm no longer interested in continuing this connection."

Caring curiosity might take the following forms:

  • "I've never been with somebody as wet as you. Do you mind if I inquire whether this is typical for you?"
  • "You've been wetter than normal the last few times we've had sex. "Do you have any idea why that would be?"

Here's one possible response:

  • "When I'm turned on, blood rushes to my vagina, causing the vagina to generate natural lubricant. So that if and when we have sex, it would be enjoyable for me. I become moist in anticipation of being filled by you."
  • "The dampness is a natural reaction to being turned on. The sex we like to have wouldn't feel as wonderful for me if I didn't naturally self-lubricate because there would be too much friction."

What if they continue to bring it up?

It's entirely up to you, honey!

You can try again if you have the energy to educate your partner.

"This might be an opportunity to have an open and judgment-free discourse about sex," Harper adds, "which could lead to incredibly pleasurable sex."

You may SMS them a link to this article with the statement, "You mentioned how wet I was the last time we had sex. So I'm giving you this article to explain why it occurs."

  • Another alternative is to buy one of the following books and place it on their pillow:
  • Emily Nagoski's song "Come as You Are"
  • Allison Moon wrote and illustrated "Girl Sex 101: A Queer Pleasure Guide for Women and Their Partners."
  • "Mind the Gap," written by Karen Gurney

However, discarding them is quite appropriate.

Don't buy things that claim to 'cure' vaginal dampness. 

"Unfortunately, treatments to dry out vaginal dampness are accessible," explains Carol Queen, PhD, Good Vibrations sexologist and curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum. "However, they are NOT advised." (Her emphasis.)

This is why: According to Queen, adding chemicals to the vagina's natural microbiota can disrupt the pH and cause discomfort or infections such as bacterial vaginosis or yeast infection.

"These products can also cause the vagina to dry out to the point where there is so much friction during penetration that the internal tissues are harmed," Queen explains.

Furthermore, if you're using barrier protection (internal condoms, exterior condoms, dental dams, finger cots, and so on), the additional friction might raise the likelihood of rupture.

Is it ever possible to have too much discharge in general?

"Too much wetness can be an indication of an illness when it occurs outside of arousal," Caitlin V. explains.

According to her, the wetness in these cases does not have the same biochemical composition as the normal lubricant produced in response to arousal and is referred to as discharge.

"Vaginal discharge is the body's method of maintaining the vagina and vulva in top shape," Harper explains. "And there are several sorts, the most of which are perfectly normal and healthy."

Some, though, can be an indication of something else.

How can you tell if you should be worried?

You're certainly familiar with the fragrance, colour, and general appearance of your typical daily discharge. (And if you're reading this and don't, make it a point to check your underwear at the end of the day.)

"If your discharge has new features, such as a fishy stench, a green or yellow tinge, or is accompanied by itching or burning, you should seek medical attention," Harper advises.

"If there's an infection, your doctor should be able to give an antibiotic that will treat it rapidly," she explains.

In conclusion 

It is impossible to get very moist during intercourse. However, if you detect a change in the smell, colour, consistency, or taste of your discharge, contact your doctor. It might be an indication of an infection.

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