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Intimacy 101 - Expert Tips for Couples on Exploring Anal Play

Jun 20, 2024

If you're ready to literally slide into anal sex, know that this is one sex act that definitely requires some Preparing for Anal Sex, especially if you haven't spent much time in B-town.

We're talking about safety, cleanliness, plenty of lube, and plenty of arousal to make the experience more pleasurable than painful.

However, even the preparation can be enjoyable. To learn more, we spoke with Kenneth Play, co-founder of the intentional sex-positive community Hacienda Villa.

If it's about to happen, say, right now

If your date is approaching and you're panicking, take a deep breath. You're fine as long as you have lube and access to soap, water, or wipes, says Play.

"It's always OK to say, 'I just want to take a quick pit stop to the bathroom,' if you want to feel fresh before playing back there." Play advertisements. "After all, a good time is all about your comfort."

Is it impossible to take a bathroom break? Wipes can also be used, according to Play. "Unless you like your coffee with a little brown sugar!" There will be no kink-shaming here." *Wink*

If you don't have the essentials on hand, you should reschedule your butt sesh or switch to another equally pleasurable act.

And keep in mind that lube isn't just an erotic addition to butt play; it's also essential for your comfort and safety. This is because lube prevents painful tearing, which increases your risk of contracting HIV and other STIs.

"Apply (lube) liberally and, if bottoming, be vocal about when you need reapplication Preparing for Anal Sex," Play advises.

Access to wipes or another method of cleaning up afterward can also help reduce the risk of other infections.

While we're on the subject of safety, don't forget about barrier protection if an involved partner's STI status is unknown or if a partner has a STI.

If you have a sex date tomorrow

If you have a sex date tomorrow, Preparing for Anal Sex

The first order of business is to make sure you have enough lube.

Just avoid numbing lubes, which can make it difficult to detect when something is wrong. Taking things slowly and steadily is a much safer way to reduce discomfort.

You can also use this time to prepare your derriere for action. This could include grooming back there or trying it alone with your fingers or a toy.

"Beyond wearing a butt plug to open yourself up, prepping for anal play is completely up to you and can range from washing the exterior with soap and water to douching or performing an enema," Play explains.

If you expect anal to become a permanent fixture in your repertoire and intend to partake frequently, Play recommends purchasing a bidet. "It's a fantastic way to keep your undercarriage sparkling clean."

If you have more time to prepare

Spontaneous sex is fun, but having more time to prepare for anal comes in handy if you're new to the game and dealing with common roadblocks, such as the fear of pain or poop appearing.

These pointers can make or break a beginner's preparation for anal.

Think about anal training

Consider it like preparing for a sporting event, except the muscle is your sphincter and the event is an anal session.

Anal training entails gradually stretching the anus with a set of anal dilators or plugs of varying sizes, beginning with the smallest and gradually increasing to a larger size.

If the thought of toys makes you nervous, try using your fingers Preparing for Anal Sex, starting with your pinky.

Don't forget to apply lube. There's a lot of lube.

Purchase a sex throw

Yes, sex throws exist, and they're the cat's pajamas for anyone who enjoys getting messy — or doesn't.

Waterproof sex blankets are available in standard mattress sizes and provide a plush surface for play while protecting your bedding.

Do you require a recommendation? Try the Liberator Fascinator Throw, which is available online and comes in a travel size so you can enjoy it on the go.

Examine various positions

Butt sex doesn't have to be limited to Downward Dog. Knowing what positions you can try will help you find ones that are comfortable for both you and your partner (s). This is especially important if you or a partner suffers from a disability or chronic pain.

Before the big show, feel free to experiment with different positions. We won't tell anyone.

Learn about the anatomy of your backside

Treating yourself to Rectal 101 before attempting an anal can help increase your comfort level, especially if you have any apprehensions about the poop thing — which is common, by the way.

Without going into too much detail, know that:

  • Poop is located higher up in your rectum and is unlikely to appear, particularly if you've already had a bowel movement that day.
  • Anal penetration stimulates many of the same muscles and nerves involved in BMs and may cause you to feel the need to go, but you won't.
  • Your sphincter and rectum are elastic and designed to stretch, but the stretching isn't dramatic or long-lasting.
  • Anal orgasms exist and can occur whether or not you have a prostate.

Make time to shower together

Plan your anal adventure so that you can take a shower together. This can help you both relax and prepare for play, as well as boost the receiving partner's confidence when it's time for penetration, according to Play.

"Starting with a sensual shower is one of my favorite sex hacks for someone trying anal for the first time," says Play. "It's sexy and sensual to wash your partner and run your hands over their soapy body."

"After thoroughly rinsing the soap from the anus, begin with light rimming while using a waterproof vibrator on the clit," he continues. Give your partner a hand job if they have a penis. Your partner will feel refreshed and confident moving forward, knowing your tongue has already been all over it."

Don't forget about aftercare

Don't forget about aftercare, Preparing for Anal Sex

Congratulations on taking the risk! Enjoy the afterglow, but first, take care of yourself.

Remember that microscopic fecal matter may still be present, which is why cleaning up as soon as possible is critical.

Wash your buttocks and genital region with a wipe or soap and water, and then thoroughly wash your hands. If you used a toy, make sure to wash it as well.

Take some time after cleaning up to check in with each other. It's normal to feel a little vulnerable after your first experience with anal. This is an excellent time to discuss how you feel about the experience and what you might do differently next time.

Even if you do everything correctly, anal sex can still be uncomfortable. A warm bath with Epsom salt can help soothe a tender bottom if you're feeling sore back there.

In conclusion

When it comes to anal sex, a little preparation goes a long way, especially for beginners. That extra time can pay dividends in the form of increased intimacy, sheet-twisting pleasure, and even an orgasm or two.

Note: Some of the links in this article are affiliate links to give us a small percentage to go towards maintaining this site.

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