ePrivacy and GPDR Cookie Consent by TermsFeed Generator

Sext like an Expert: Surprising Tips for Exquisite Seduction

Apr 18, 2024

We've included sexting prompts and examples, a list of one-liners for starting this type of sex exchange, and information on how to sext safely below.

Smack dab in the middle of a raunchy conversation and at a loss for words? Do you need assistance in digitally inviting your hottie? Do you have concerns about the safety of sexting?
We've got your back. Continue reading now and savour the pleasure later.

What is sexting?

Sexting is a broad term that refers to the practice of sending and receiving sexually explicit or suggestive messages via a cellphone, computer, tablet, or another digital device.

According to Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a queer-informed BIPOC sex educator with the adult wellness brand Lovers, sexts frequently contain explicit descriptions, illicit memories, and detailed fantasies that could arouse the reader.

According to pleasure experts at Tantus Toys, a sexual exchange can be entirely text-based or include audio notes, GIFs, photos, videos, emojis, and other visual accouterments.

• Dilated pupils
• Increased respiratory rate
• Full-body flushing
• Higher body temperature
• Genital swelling

How do you safely sext?

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news; sexting is not without danger.

"Things don't die on the internet," Carly S. says. "As a result, it's prudent to assume that anything you send or say will be seen or read by someone for whom it was not intended."

However, there are steps you can take to protect your privacy and safety.

Talk to the person you're about to sext

Express outright that you believe this conversation will only be read by the two of you, suggests Carly S. When you're finished, you can even request that they delete the conversation.

Talk to the person you're about to sext

Express outright that you believe this conversation will only be read by the two of you, suggests Carly S. When you're finished, you can even request that they delete the conversation.

She points out that anything can be screenshotted but that clear communication helps reduce that risk. Furthermore, how someone responds to your request to delete the conversation reveals a lot about their personality.

Avoid identifiable information or marks

"If you take a picture, make sure there are no visible tattoos, freckles, or birthmarks," Carly S. advises. It would help if you also made certain that your backdrop does not include any identifiable addresses, houses, or other structures.

Similarly, if you send an audio note, you should avoid disclosing information about yourself or your location.

To be clear, you should follow this advice even if you trust your partner (s)

"Clouds can be hacked even in the best of circumstances," Rowntree says. "Make sure you and your partner never share anything you don't want other people to see."

RELATED: What You Need to Know About Sexual Wellness Products

Only sext if you really want to

Sexting should always be done because you want to, not because you feel obligated to.
"If you feel pressured or notice any other red flags, speak up or stop sharing immediately," Rowntree advises.

You can express explicitly that you no longer feel safe or comfortable. You can also leave the conversation and block their phone number if you believe it is necessary.

Tell them if you're sexting someone you trust and lose interest for an unrelated reason, such as a work email or someone coming home.

You could say:

"I'm so sorry to do this, but I just heard the garage door open, and I don't feel comfortable continuing this kind of exchange while they're home. But I'm willing to keep talking! I understand how dangerous it is for a sext sesh to end abruptly. Is there anything I can say or do to help you feel better?"

"Baby, I'm so sorry, but I have a work call that I need to take. I'll call you when I get home so we can catch up."

"I don't want to interrupt this conversation, but my responses will be a little slower for a while."

Begin (or continue) to be sober

Begin (or continue) to be sober

"Sexting while drunk or high is not a good idea," says Carol Queen, PhD, a sexologist with Good Vibrations and co-author of "THE Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone."

After all, you might say or send things you wouldn't normally say or send when sober.
"At the very least, make sure you're sober the first time you sext someone so you can think clearly about your boundaries," she advises.

Also Read More: How to Have a Happy Sex Life?

What are you going to say?

What are you going to say

Do you need assistance channelling your inner erotica novelist? Take note of these suggestions.
Utilize all of your senses.

"You want to use all five senses to really paint a picture of what you're doing, want to be doing, or did do," says Carly S.

If you're sharing what you're wearing, include information about the perfume you're wearing, what you're eating or drinking (so they can imagine what your mouth tastes like), and what music is playing in the background.

If you're reliving a previous sexual encounter, describe how good it smelled, tasted, felt, and sounded.

Pose questions

If the cat has your tongue, Stewart suggests asking your partner questions about their interests.

As an example:

"If I were there, where would you like me to kiss first?"

"What is your favorite memory you have of us?"

"What are you interested in?"

"Can you tell me what kind of porn you watch?"

"What is your most cherished fantasy?"

Stewart adds that you can also be more explicit.

"If someone says that they're really turned on by breasts, for instance, you can ask something like, 'How would you like it if I played with my nipples in front of you? Would that make you sweat? Or do you want to kiss them all over until I tell you to stop?'"

Make pleasure, not orgasm, your goal.

Make pleasure, not orgasm, your goal.

Don't bring up or mention orgasms unless everyone is in the mood for a quickie.

"Sometimes people make the mistake of going straight to intercourse or whatever the 'end' activity is," Carly S. says. However, when sexting, she advises drawing things out as much as possible to increase everyone's arousal.

So, instead of discussing orgasm, consider doing things for the sake of pleasure:

"I want to make you feel so good that you won't be able to speak."

"Tell me, what turns you on more than anything else?"

Compliment, compliment, and more compliments

Sexting is dangerous. Make the person on the other end of the phone feel at ease by lavishing verbal praise on them.

Tell them you adore their body, how they taste, or how they described your most recent sexual encounter.

Small gestures such as adding an exclamation mark, responding to messages, and sending a string of emojis can also help a person feel sexually appreciated.

Send audio messages

Record a message for your boo and get their ears in on the action.

"Reading a paragraph from your favorite erotic novel can be a great way to get more comfortable saying sexual things," Queen says. It also gives your partner some insight into the types of things that turn you on.

Carly S. suggests sending an audio note of yourself moaning or breathing heavily. "A recording of your vibrator buzzing can be sexy as well," she adds.

Practice post-chat aftercare

Practice post-chat aftercare. rubbynews sexual wellness products.

It's impolite to put your phone away as soon as you've finished and ignore the person with whom you've just shared an intimate moment.

"Ask if they need anything and consider their emotional and physical needs," says Carly S.

Depending on your relationship with the person, she suggests sending them UberEats, inviting them to watch a movie with you virtually, or simply reminding them to rehydrate.

A simple "thank you" text afterwards, followed by a "good morning" text the next day, can also go a long way.

What about photographing or filming?

If you and your seatmate (s) agree to send and receive pictures or videos, go ahead and do it!

"So-called leaks, or more accurately, non-consensual content, is a serious, ongoing issue across digital mediums," Rowntree says.

Sending photos or videos that don't include you but include your surroundings or help set the scene is one possible workaround.

"If you're touching yourself in the tub, you could send a sound clip of yourself splashing in the water," Carly S. suggests.

"If you're about to put on lingerie, take a picture of it laying out on your bed instead of sending a picture of yourself in it," she adds.

How do you approach your partner(s) about it?

Consent is an essential, ongoing step of digital sex, just as it is an essential, ongoing step of in-person sex.

So, how do you go about inviting someone to sext with you? "Be direct," advises Carly S.
You could ask the following questions depending on what you're looking for:

"I just took a really sexy selfie of myself. Are you in the right frame of mind to receive it and respond with a million compliments?"

"Respond to this message when you're in a situation where you can and want to receive a dirty text."

"I awoke thinking about our last encounter. Do you want to relive it with me with some morning sexting?"

What if you don't have a partner but want to sext anyway?

What if you don't have a partner but want to sext anyway? tantus toys

Don't have a situation or a partner with whom to sext? You have choices.
Use a platform like SextPanther, which allows you to chat with porn stars and cam girls whenever you want.

Another option is to create a dating app profile that specifically states what you're looking for. Feeld and #Open, both of which are known for attracting an open-minded audience, could be good options for this.

In conclusion

Sexting that is arousing, anticipatory, and lower risk can be a wonderful addition to an already existing relationship and a stand-alone activity between any two (or more!) consenting adults.

Just keep everyone's boundaries in mind to keep it satisfying rather than stressful or scary. Other than that, there are no sexting rules. So don't be too concerned about doing things "properly."

Editorial note: We only endorse items we truly believe in. Some links in this article may result in us receiving a commission from qualifying purchases.

Find your happy spots through our erotic educational courses

  • Learn how mindfulness helps with sexual anxiety
  • Address performance anxiety 
  • Communication Techniques for Sexual Needs 
  • Sex and Intimacy for Survivors
  • Overview of Sexual Anxiety
Check out our store

Receive our 2-page overview completely changing how you view sex.

Receive updates through our weekly newsletter!


We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.